You may be a Hare Krishna fanatic if ... you refuse to eat your kid's birthday cake because he blew out the candles and may have muchified the top layer with tiny kiddie spittles.

On the other hand ...

You may be a Hare Krishna fanatic if ... you'd fight with someone over who gets to swallow the leftover pit of a date, apricot or other stonefruit eaten by someone who you don't actually know but is institutionally recognized as a 'senior devotee'.

Heaps more of these here.